Things to do in London

London has two centres, not one. The City holds the banks and Wren's churches; Westminster, two miles upriver, holds the crown and the parliament. The Thames sorts the rest.

How the city divides

• The City — St Paul's, fragments of the Roman wall, the Tower at its edge.
• Westminster — the Abbey, the Elizabeth Tower, Buckingham Palace and the guard change.
• Soho and the West End — theatres, Chinatown and the late tables.
• The south bank — Tate Modern, the Globe and Borough Market.
• Shoreditch and Camden — street art, Sunday markets and the lock.
• Greenwich — the observatory, the meridian and the Cutty Sark.

The city is walked, and the walks have themes. Crime, books, music and food each have one. A self-guided puzzle costs about a pint.

Doing the British Museum properly

Eight million objects are held here, about one in a hundred on show. Nobody does it in an afternoon.

• The Friday evening. Ten to five most days, half past eight on Friday. Last entry a quarter past eight; galleries start clearing ten minutes early.
• Book the free ticket. It costs nothing and skips the door queue.
• Pick two rooms first. The Rosetta Stone in Room 4, the Parthenon sculptures in 18, Sutton Hoo in 41. Go straight there, wander later.
• The desk at the door. It asks for a donation, not a fee. Big temporary shows are ticketed, near twenty pounds.

Friday evening is the quietest slot of the week. Come back for the rest.

Pubs, and how the night ends

You order and pay at the bar, and nobody tips there. Restaurants add twelve and a half per cent, removable on request. Rounds are bought for the group.

• A pint is 568 millilitres. A half and a two-thirds schooner are legal measures too. London averages nearer seven pounds than six, and Soho asks nine.
• Last orders. The bell goes some twenty minutes before closing, and plenty of pubs shut at eleven. Central bars run later.
• After that. Last trains go around half past midnight. The Night Tube runs five lines on Friday and Saturday, night buses the rest.

Days out of the city

• Windsor — the castle, about forty minutes west by train.
• Stonehenge — no railway, so a full day by road, often with Bath.
• Bath — the Roman spring and the crescents, ninety minutes out.
• Oxford — the colleges and the Bodleian, an hour by train.

Practical

• Weather. Rain arrives in any month and rarely settles. Summer highs near 23C; December gives eight hours of light.
• Free is the default. Most national museums were made free in December 2001 and still are. The Tower, the Abbey and St Paul's charge properly, from twenty-seven pounds.
• Paying to move. Tap a contactless card at every gate and on every bus. Buses take no cash, and the day is capped.
• From Heathrow. The Piccadilly line takes an hour for a few pounds; the Elizabeth line halves it for three times the fare.
• Not one stop by Tube. Leicester Square to Covent Garden is 260 metres, the shortest gap on the network. Walking beats it.
• Guard change. Monday, Wednesday and Friday at eleven, Sunday at ten, weather permitting.